


To The Moon and Back

by the_point_is_geese_are_cool



Category: Good Omens
Genre: God as narrator, God loves ineffable bureaucracy, God loves ineffable husbands, oh female beelzebub, slow burn sorta i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-07-29 23:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20090293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_point_is_geese_are_cool/pseuds/the_point_is_geese_are_cool
Summary: During Crowley and Aziraphale’s sweet, long, and adorable 6000 year long fling, it turns out Lord Beelzebub and the Archangel Gabriel were falling in love too.





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am Eloise your author of this fanfic, I just really love Good Omens! This is obviously going to be an Ineffable Bureaucracy fanfic with some Ineffable Husbands of course. I do not own Good Omens in any way shape or form. I am nothing but a fan making fan content! I love all of you gorgeous goldfish!!!!!!!

To The Moon and Back 

Chapter One

It was March 14, 41 A.D. It was a bright and sunny morning. Almost every morning was bright and sunny in Rome. Heaven and Hell head offices had heard that a certain principality and a certain demon were spending a wee bit too much time together. Like way too much time. So to try and be a solution to the minor problem, both offices sent their best officers; Lord Beelzebub and the Archangel Gabriel.

First, the demon Crowley walked into the quaint pub, next the principality Aziraphale came in and sat next to him. 

“Well hello there, Crawley!” Aziraphale said as he sat on the wooden stool

“It’s Crowley but hello!” Crowley said not making eye contact. Their conversation continued just as we know it but, soon Beelzebub waltzed in. Seeing the target and decided to watch from afar sat at a booth despite being by herself. Soon after that Gabriel walked in sporting a grey toga to blend in more to the surrounding humans. Within the second that Gabriel and Beelzebub made eye contact, she had rolled her eyes to the back of her head. 

“Hello.” Gabriel said as he sat in the booth.

“What in Satan’s name are you doing here?” Beelzebub hissed.

“Same as you!” Gabriel said, tilting his head toward Crowley and Aziraphale.

“Ughh,” Beelzebub groaned, “Leave the ademon alone, he’s my job.” She said as she got up and left. 

Aziraphale and Crowley were on their second jug of coffee. Normally, neither of them drank coffee especially saying this coffee tasted strong of horse shit. 

“So, have you noticed we have some spectators?” Aziraphale questioned.

“How could I not? They’re being so obvious about it!” Crowley said letting out a light chuckle. Aziraphale surely didn’t trust Crowley yet. He has only known him for a couple hundred years five or take! He was hardly considered an acquaintance. But still Crowley made Aziraphale feel a certain way, he didn’t know what it was but he liked talking to him. Though for Crowley, Aziraphale was his only friend although Crowley would never tell anybody that because it makes him sound not-so-cool. Life was actually pretty lonely for Crowley; if he wasn’t day drinking he was either sleeping or with Aziraphale. Most of the time he spent his days on the roof, basking up sun and snoozing all the days away. 


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking Buddies

To The Moon and Back

Chapter Two

It was 1832 now, during the French Revolution. Crowley was out spreading ferment while Aziraphale was stuck in a jail cell for overdressing. Somehow, Crowley knew about his sticky situation and how to come to a demonic rescue. He did of course and then they grabbed crepes, in much more suitable attire of course. 

In the crowd, Beelzebub stuck out like a corpse in a candy store. Everyone wearing rags and dirty clothes while she spotted a black dress. Not only was black extremely expensive to buy back then but her dress was still in nice condition, which was questionable for a demon. While she was sticking out. Gabriel blended in with everyone else. Seeming to be a normal french man, watching innocent revolutionaries getting murdered.

Gabriel started pushing his way through the crowd to get to Beelzebub, but before she could walk away he grabbed her cold hand. 

“Hey, Bee!” He shouted over the cheering crowd.

“What?!” She yelled back.

“I said hey, Bee” 

“Bee?”

“Sorry. I won’t call you that if you don’t want me too but-“ Beelzebub cut him off before he could finish

“Just call me Beelzebub. Nothing more,

nothin’ less.” She said, they were now in a small alley, away from the smelly crowd of people cheering for all the wrong reasons. 

The two decided for a drink together. Although it was anything but necessary for them to ingest alcohol, it sure felt good to. They both went for a glass of red wine. As they both got more and more drunk, the conversation drew less from work and more to social life. 

“By Satans name! Sometimez Hastur just gets right on my nerves! He thinks that one day he’ll replace me and be the next Prince of Hell! Like yeah right stupid ass!” Beelzebub ranted on her sixth or something glass of wine.

“Oh wow! Ya know sometimes Sandalphon acts like we’re actually friends and I’m just like habaha alright!” 

“I’m done! I’m way too drunk. I feel it.” Beelzebub said right before she sobered up. Right as she left the bar with not even a goodbye, Gabriel finished sobering up. He ran after her, for such a short lady she could power walk exceptionally fast. By the time Gabriel caught up with her, he was left in her tracks to see a gaping hole in the ground heading straight to Hell.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

To The Moon and Back

Chapter Three

Heaven and Hell had been very busy, and as it turns out humans are very stupid. They seemed to have messed up so much and so soon. It was currently only 1862 and there had already been countless wars. So with all the stupidity of humanity going on, you could say that angels and demons were quite busy.Demons trying to make the ongoing situations even worse while angels trying to fix everything humans and demons had going on. 

Aziraphale and Crowley were content with what was going on. Nobody seemed to mess with them. They met in St. James park, every Sunday, and sat to discuss the week they just witnessed, and after that they would grab lunch. It was a nice little schedule until one Sunday Crowley handed Aziraphale a little note. 

“H-holy water?” Aziraphale barely spit out.

“Yes.” Crowley replied blatantly.

“No. Good heavens! No. No. No,” Aziraphale said quickly.

“Crowley, you don’t know what that will do to you. I care about you and even just the smallest drop on your finger could absolutely annihilate you. Not a gram of Crowley would be left!” Aziraphale said almost to the point of tears.

“Aziraphale I-“ Crowley was interrupted by the slap of Aziraphale’s thick white fur coat hitting his shins,he had walked away from Crowley. They hadn’t even gotten lunch yet! 

Although Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t know this, Beelzebub and Gabriel we’re watching the whole thing. 

“Do you think they’ll get back together?” Gabriel asked still chewing a bite of bagel.

“Yes! They always do. And why do you even eat that? You don’t need to consume it” She questioned.

“Consume what?” Gabriel said as he threw the bagel to the ducks. This made Beelzebub chuckle.

“What do you think the note said?” Gabriel asked.

“Did you not hear? It was him asking for holy water. Don’t know why Crawly would want some, were demons! It will literally destroy anything of us ever to exist.” 

“I think he goes by CrOwly now.”

“Pshhh whatever he’s always changing! Have you seen his hair? Now he has sideburns betcha next week he’ll have long hair again!” Beelzebub said, laughing at her own jokes. During their whole conversation they had slowly been movingcloser together til they were almost cuddling on the uncomfortable wooden bench. Everything seemed perfect to Gabriel, he did love Beelzebub, he loved her a lot. Just he didn’t know if she felt the way he did. 

“I love you.” Gabriel said to Beelzebub.

“What?” 

“I said I love you.” 

Beelzebub did nothing but stare at him. Direct eye contact for what felt like forever.

“We’ve known each other for around 6569 years, and it seems we keep running into each other! One might think it could possibly be written in the great plan itself! But it isn’t and-and i’m not one to go off the books that often, like never. but I love you Bee. I don’t care that you’re a demon and I’m and angel I just have these feeling and this malicious thoughts and I-I-I I cant go another day hiding how a feel deep down.” Gabriel confessed, letting out everything he had kept in from the last 6000 or so years. 

“I hate you!” Beelzebub yelled before disintegrating into the ground going straight down to Hell. This time instead of walking away he looked down the hole. He saw Beelzebub sitting at her desk ,crying. Did she feel sad that she was loved? Or was she scared? Do demons get scared? were all the types of questions that were running through Gabriel’s head.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

To The Moon and Back

Chapter Four

It was 1950 now, about five years after World War II ended, and Gabriel was still convinced Beelzebub started it.

They had agreed to meet at a small bar in Paris. Out of all the places Gabriel had been to on Earth, Paris was definitely his favorite. 

“Hello.” Beelzebub said in a plain monotone voice.

“Hey!” Gabriel said not really knowing what to say next. 

“Okay, you called me and said it was of the utmost importance that I attend.” Beelzebub started off.

“Alright. I have questions,”

“Best not to ask.”

“Ok, let’s dive right in,”

“No, I don’t really like swimming” 

“Not actually dive but like ughhh you get it.” By now Gabriel was getting quite aggravated and realized that this might not have been the best idea.

“Do you really hate me? One hundred years ago I told you how I truly feel no matter how hard it was I did it, you didn’t reply very well but just aghhhh do you really hate me?”

“As a friend.” Beelzebub said with a cheeky smile. It made Gabriel glad and feel warm and fuzzy inside when Beelzebub smiled, since it was so rare they ever even saw each other. 

“Welp that didn’t answer anything!” Gabriel said already visibly exhausted by the demon.

“Awww, Dove needs a nap?” she teased.

“No, I don’t sleep, wait what did you call me?” 

“Nothing you need to be worrying about.” she said rather smugly. Right after that comment she stood up probably heading to leave. 

“So is this the new thing, we get assigned jobs completely ignore the job meet up and just hopelessly make heart eyes and flirt?”

“You are the only one here making heart eyes or ‘flirting’ even if you would call whatever you do flirting.” Beelzebub said dead in her tracks.

“Hmmm alright then, I guess I’ll see you in a century or so.” After that comment Beelzebub took two and a half more steps backwards, closer than she’s ever been to Gabriel. 

“Is that how long it’s been? A whole century? It felt like even longer.” She appeared to be inching ever closer ultimately destroying the angel’s “personal space bubble” as Gabriel called it. Angels and all ethereal beings valued personal space, and touching wasn’t something that happened much. Yes, every once and a while there’d be a gentle play punch or a hard pat on the back but never anything intimate or close up for a long period of time. So you could say Gabriel was out of his comfort zone. 

After staring into Gabriel’s seemingly perfectly gorgeous purple eyes for what seemed like eternity, Beelzebub broke the eye contact and left. Leaving Gabriel knowing just as much as he knew showing up. 

Little did the two know that they were being watched. By another Angel and another Demon.

“How long ya give em before they’re a thing?” Crowley asked.

“She’s obviously not interested, I give another eh 4000 years, maybe the 10,000 mark will be where she realizes.” Aziraphale remarked. But little did Aziraphale know, Crowley loved Aziraphale more than anything in the world. Aziraphale was his source of happiness in this world which had been nothing but cruel to him. Aziraphale was the kindest, most adorable, sweetest, most lovable, and intelligent creature to ever exist in Crowley’s eyes. But little did Crowley know, Aziraphale felt pretty much the same way Crowley felt, he loved Crowley more than anything in the universe. Even when the whole entire world seemed to be going against him, Crowley was there for him to laugh their pains away. To Aziraphale, Crowley was the bravest, most sexy, gorgeous demon ever. 

“Eh I give them a couple more decades and they’ll be a couple.” Aziraphale decided after about fifteen minutes of quiet. When Aziraphale got no response back he realized Crowley had fell asleep on his shoulder. The twinkling Paris stars were gorgeous, and so was Aziraphale’s smile. He had everything he could ever want. The love of his life and a wonderfully romantic city full of lovers and most importantly crepes.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

To The Moon and Back

Chapter Five 

It was 1969, and London was abuzz. It was Valentine’s day eve, and all the lovers who had forgotten were doing some last minute shopping, two of those shoppers included none other than the Archangel Gabriel and the Principality Aziraphale. Aziraphale was planning on getting Crowley something, something special. While Gabriel was just working on trying to make Beelzebub not hate him as much.

Gabriel was walking down a mildly busy street, walking fast but still slow enough to see what each small shop had to offer. He couldn’t seem to find anything until he walked up to a small travel agency booth. A big sign said “ 𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫  𝑻𝑹𝑰𝑷𝑺  𝑻𝑶  𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑺 ”. Paris reminded Gabriel of 1950 and the good memories there. It hadn’t been a decade yet but Gabriel had been itching to see her, and he would have to talk about Crowley and Aziraphale. Saying that was the only reason they were supposed to see each other. So Gabriel decided he would take her on a weekend off in Paris. Paris was the city of love and if his goal was to get her to not hate him this was the perfect plan.

Aziraphale was looking for something to stick out that Crowley would be into. Aziraphale walked into almost every shop in London looking for something that would be perfect for him. He was on the brim of giving up, and about to start questioning his relationship with Crowley. How close were they if he can’t even think of a decent gift? Aziraphale stopped to rest on a little bench in front of a quaint flower shop. All this shopping was making Aziraphale exhausted and angels don’t even need sleep! He was quite peckish too. This was the worst situation ever is all that was circling through his thoughts, until the thought of a giant strawberries and creme crepe came to mind. It was the smell coming from inside the flower shop. Aziraphale found himself walking over to the smell. There was a short middle aged woman with long blonde hair, pulled back into victory rolls. 

“Hi!” She exclaimed she hipp

Which of the green beauties called you in today, sir?” she asked

“Oh not the plants that wonderful smell! That aroma smells exactly like a perfectly.... burnt crepe?” Aziraphale said.

“OH FUCK!” She yelled running into the back room and throwing out the jet black chunk of food. Walking back into the room Aziraphale was in, she carried a platter of crepes. 

“Everyone who makes a purchase gets a crepe!” New selling technique since I’m almost bankrupt!” Hearing this, Aziraphale hopped up to pick out a plant. Maybe a plant would be a perfect gift for Crowley! Aziraphale saw the perfect plant. It was a medium sized plant with enormous heart shaped leaves. What could be more romantic than hearts? 

“I’ll take this one!” Aziraphale said. 

“Perfect! I’ve been trying to get rid of that one. She’s my biggest one in shop!” Aziraphale thanked her for the plant and the crepe which didn’t even compare to the ones in Paris. 

Valentines Day 

Beelzebub and Gabriel were meeting up in the London botanical gardens. Where they always have met up. It was rarely ever busy and had little hidden benches for a more sinful crowd. 

Gabriel was dressed in his nicest grey suit while Beelzebub wore a nice black dress complimented with her red aviators of course. 

“Hello, Dove.” Beelzebub said.

“Uh hi.” Gabriel said. 

“Why’d you call me here?” She asked, taking a seat on the cold metal bench.

“I wanted to say happy valentine’s day.”

“Happy what?”

“Valentines day”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Oh um it’s a human holiday where you celebrate the people you like! Quite fascinating really, we originally didn’t make the feeling of love but the humans-“ 

“For satan’s sake your such a dork.” 

“Ouch!” That made Beelzebub smile and let out a small chuckle. It was extremely rare she smiled and even more rare she laughed. Beelzebub had worked to set a reputation of always being bored and never showing emotion. But when she was with Gabriel she wasn’t really herself.

“I say we take a small trip. Just the two of us one weekend. In Paris.” 

“What? We could never it’s too obvious to our sides. C’mon I knew you were stupid just not  that stupid.”

“We could just say It’s where Aziraphale and Crowley are. We’re still assigned our jobs, and as long as we don’t do any miracles we’ll be all good undetected!” 

“No.” 

“Why?”

“No!”

“I’ll pay for everything.”

“Fine!” 

“You do realize you could miracle all the money in the world into your account right?” 

“Shut up before I change my mind.” Beelzebub said standing up, walking away. 

“Where are you going?” Gabriel asked

“ I need to get gas in the car. Paris is like 5 hours away.” She said walking away, Gabriel not very far behind. 

The two piled into Beelzebub’s red beetle with snacks and a full tank of gas. Right as she turned on the car, the radio started blaring a symphony. 

“I never took you for the classical type of person!” Gabriel said.

“Classical or silence the whole way?” She said with a malicious smile.

“Let’s go classical.” Gabriel said as they set off for Paris.

Back in St. James park, Aziraphale and Crowley had just sat down on their reserved bench.

“Happy valentine’s day!” Aziraphale said handing Crowley a crochet snake “ I made it!”

“Hmm I like it!” Crowley said with a wide grin.

“I was thinking angel, what if we, what if we went off together-“ 

“Crowley,dear, the moon is just too cold for me I’ve had to tell you this multiple times.” 

“Angel, not the moon I was thinking Paris again?”

“Oh?”

“Just a day trip.”

“Well if we leave now at 3 pm we should get there right at sunset!” Aziraphale said already beaming with happiness.

“Ok well today and tomorrow?” 

“Sounds superb!” 

“Let’s go! Get the Bentley and let’s rock and roll? Is my human slang correct?”

“Oh angel your always right.” Crowley said twirling the car keys around his fingers.

So the two couples set off toward the city of love. One with nothing but symphonies playing and one with a talkative angel. Both set to have a wonderfully dreamy weekend.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It’s me Eloise and i’m sorry to say this is just a filler chapter sorry y’all! But the next chapter will be much better! Have an amazing day. Remember how beautiful you are, you Gorgeous Goldfish!!!

To The Moon and Back

Chapter Six

The motorway was clogged up with traffic, and it seemed that the countdown to Paris was getting longer instead of shorter. Aziraphale was getting antsy, the first three hours of the car ride was bearable but he was about to pop. Aziraphale didn’t know how much longer he could wait for those delectable crepes, and Crowley didn’t know how much longer he could take the damned traffic.

As for Beelzebub and Gabriel, Gabriel was about to loose it. He had been listening to nothing but classical for the past 3 hours and his mouth had gone dry from the lack of talking. Gabriel was quite the chatterbox. Beelzebub was enjoying the ride, all the silence was a change Beelzebub quite liked. She was fine enjoying all her Bach and all her Mozart, until Gabriel snapped.

“I can’t take all the silence anymore, are you mad at me?” Gabriel asked

“No. Actually maybe a little bit now because your interrupting my favorite symphony.” Beelzebub started.

“We’re going to Paris, I mean maybe we should discuss the things we would like to do there?”

“Fine! What would you like to do in Paris?” Beelzebub asked, simply annoyed at this point.

“Thank you for asking!” Gabriel said pettily, “I was thinking we could go for a wine tasting, and after that visit the top of the Eiffel tower!” Gabriel said excitedly.

“I’m not one for heights.” Beelzebub said bluntly. 

“Oh. Maybe just underneath?” 

“I guess.” She said. “Now back to my music!” Beelzebub said turning up the radio, her favorite symphony now over and some random piece playing.

Back with Aziraphale and Crowley, Aziraphale was getting hungry and Crowley was getting extremely aggravated with the stagnant traffic. 

“I’m quite peckish, my dear.” Aziraphale said quietly. 

“Angel, I think you packed some snacks and they’re in the back seat.” Crowley replied.

“Wonderful!” Aziraphale said, turning around and proceeding to rummage around for the snack purse. He quickly found it and began to eat some crackers and hummus. 

“FINALLY! And we’re moving in the first time in the hour!” Crowley said as the Bentley jerked forward. The motorway was now moving at a normal motorway speed. Now that it was moving at a normal pace, the two couples began itching ever so closely to Paris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I might not be able to post as much with the upcoming get back to college thing, i’m studying in mortuary science sorry to overshare
> 
> -lots of love ELOISE


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It’s me Eloise, and I cannot express how sorry I am! I’m going back to college and these first weeks have been tough on me. But I wrote this, so you all know i’m still alive!
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!

To TheMoon and Back

Chapter Seven

Finally after all the traffic, the two couples made their ways to Paris. Staying in separate hotels. Beelzebub and Gabriel didn’t know Aziraphale and Crowley were there but Aziraphale and Crowley knew about Beelzebub and Gabriel’s trip. Although Gabriel and Beelzebub’s jobs were to keep an eye on Aziraphale and Crowley, it seemed Aziraphale and Crowley were watching them.

Crowley found a small hotel for them to stay in, he knew Aziraphale absolutely loved to support small businesses. As for Beelzebub, she went and found the nicest hotel in all of Paris, although  nice  things weren’t her thing she made this sacrifice. 

Beelzebub pulled the beetle into their hotel. Immediately the valet tried to take the keys from her. Although she put up quite the fit about somebody else touching her car, Gabriel coaxed her out of the car and into the hotel with the thought of alcohol in their room. They got the keys to the room and headed up, it was on the very top floor. Gabriel turned the key to find an all white room with a dazzling crystal chandelier hanging down above the spiral staircase heading upstairs to the second floor of the penthouse. They climbed the stairs to find another blindingly white room, a gigantic fur rug laid on the white tiles on the floor, and a huge king bed lined with black sheets. Gabriel walked over to the window and saw a lit up skyline of Paris.

“How did you ever manage to get the penthouse?” Gabriel asked genuinely puzzled.

“Little demonic miracle.” Beelzebub said acting bored and plopping into a chair.

“Should have known.” Gabriel said shaking his head and heading for the stairs.

“What? I get you this  nice  room and you are what? Disappointed? I should have stayed down  there ” Beelzebub said pointing to the floor. 

“Well maybe you should have!” Gabriel said stamping his foot, as a toddler would.

“Huh! You are the one who invited me here! I have stacks upon stackz.... stacks of paperwork down there for me and what I took a day off to get  disrezpected !” Beelzebub was extremely aggravated, she ran down the stairs and power walked to the closest bar she could find.

Beelzebub spoke little to no French but she still understood how to order a bottle of vodka. 


End file.
